Say Goodbye, Hotchner
by lovedrreid
Summary: My entry for Dealer's Choice Round Three. Hotch can't seem to come to terms with all he has responsibility for. Tag to Reckoner  I think . Please Review.


**A/N: I don't know what episode it was, but I think it was Reckoner... where Hotch finds out he has to resign his position as team leader. This is just a tag to the episode that I'm using for Dealer's Choice Round Three on Chit Chat On Author's Corner.  


* * *

**Hotch sat at his desk shocked by what he'd just heard. It was Strauss after all. He'd known she'd use the traumatic event he was centered upon as leverage to break the team apart. Her reason, he didn't know why, but he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of succeeding in her goal. JJ noticed his shocked expression and quietly entered the room.

"Hotch... is everything alright?" JJ asked. Hotch didn't look up when he spoke.

"Yeah..." JJ wasn't convinced, but she wasn't willing to press her luck against him. He didn't seem like he was going to be willing to talk about, so she just left to go home for Henry.

After JJ got home and was putting Henry to bed, she felt pity for Hotch. He wasn't able to tuck his son in, or give the love. He was alone, and she didn't want to imagine how agonizingly painful that would be to know the two people that create your life are in danger, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. She couldn't stop feeling the way she felt, and knew she wouldn't stop until it was all over, and Hotch was happy again. After hours of thinking and worrying about every little thing, she told Will to watch Henry while she went out to do something. Will didn't want to question her sad mood, so he just let her go. He figured it was about the hard time her team was having.

* * *

In Hotch's apartment, he sat with his work clothes still on, and a large bottle of vodka in his hand. It was already half empty. As he sat taking big gulps of it, he couldn't help but still think about Haley and Jack. He couldn't help but worry about the team falling apart. He thought of everything... he took responsibility of everything, he thought in his mind, he couldn't just stop taking responsibility for the team. He'd gotten far with getting away with keeping it together, and letting Foyet attack him, and put the BAU in the spotlight for next to attack by Strauss. He felt, in some way, it was his fault. If he hadn't let Foyet attack him, all this wouldn't be happening, and there wouldn't be anymore worries. But, unfortunately, this time, Foyet won that battle.

The drunken profiler was pulled out of his guilt-filled thoughts by an echoing knock on the door. He sighed warily as he got up to answer. Shocked, he opened it further to allow JJ in.

"Yeah JJ?" Hotch asked as she inspected his apartment, taking note of the half empty bottle of vodka sitting innocently on the table. She sighed.

"What's been going on. I know Strauss said something to you that worries you, but..."

"JJ, it's nothing. I can handle it." Hotch said as he stumbled back to his recliner. JJ sat across from him and inspected his body language. At that point she really wished she was a profiler.

"Hotch, you're sitting here, drinking vodka, at one in the morning. That screams there's something wrong." Hotch shrugged. "Come on. Get dressed."

"What?" JJ looked at him like she couldn't have been more clear.

"Get dressed. We're going to go somewhere." Hotch shook his head.

"I'm not in the mood to go anywhere."

"Come on Hotch."

"Fine." Hotch agreed.

* * *

Minutes later, Hotch came out of his room dressed casually. JJ smiled weakly at him.

"Where are we going?" Hotch asked JJ.

"Going to get something to eat."

"What?"

"You really need to stop asking that. You heard me. We're going to..."

"I heard what you said, but where are we going to go this early?"

"You'll see." Hotch closed his eyes and shook his head.

"And why me?"

"You ask too many questions."

"I wouldn't be asking them if you'd answer them."

"Like I already said, you'll see." JJ said.

* * *

The two sat at a booth at the 24 hour donut shop. They were the only ones there.

"Okay, I really don't see why we're here."

"We're getting something to eat."

"Why?"

"Because... I wanted to talk to you... and before you ask why again, I'll tell you, because I'm worried." JJ paused for a second. "What did Strauss tell you." Hotch sighed.

"I have to resign my position in the team... I'm not leaving, but I'll no longer be the leader." JJ looked shocked.

"Who will take your place?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to ask Morgan." JJ didn't know what to say. She was taken aback about the news.

"There's more isn't there about why you've been acting so different. Is it about Haley and Jack?" Hotch nodded.

"I have to find Foyet. I can't let him destroy me like this. He's winning..."

"We won't let him win... we'll get him. Everything will be back to normal."

"I wish I could believe that."

"Why don't you believe it?"

"I don't know." Hotch said as he watched it start to rain outside, and the cars drove by.

* * *

For nearly an hour, they sat and talked about things without meaning, and had a good time drinking coffee. But that's when somebody came in, set a disposable camera down in front of them, and left. there was a note attached to it, and Hotch read it.

'You should have made a deal.' Hotch went pale and hurried to the car.

"It's Foyet. We need to get these developed. JJ looked more worried than ever. What if Foyet found Haley and Jack. The team just couldn't take that.

* * *

Hotch looked at the pictures of a dead Haley on the ground... then he came across Jack tied to a chair crying. Hotch couldn't take it. He had to find Foyet and kill him.

As he sat alone in his apartment crying, he drank the rest of his vodka and stared at the wall contemplating ways to torture Foyet when he found him.

* * *

**FIN**

**A/N: I know this is a stupid ending, but it's hard to use objects like Donut Shop and Disposable camera without killing somebody... I guess I shoulda made this a romance and used the cologne, but... eh. I like killing characters. **


End file.
